What should a woman do?

What should a woman do? If a girl child is born after evading attempts to find her gender with a sonogram and her grandmother’s attempts to judge the gender by the swell of the belly, she is looked at by family members as a curse for their past life sins. She is named ‘podhumponnu’ as a reminder to Fate to give them no more girl children. She is brought up wearing frilly frocks with puffed shoulders. “Oh you must make her look fair! Dark skin is no good. Who will marry her?” She is forced to play house with her friends as she eyes her brother’s football. Then comes education. “School ah? What for? She is going to study and become collector is it? Go help your mother in the kitchen.” What should a woman do? All the begging and crying helps her go to school. She goes to a school where toilets are almost a mile away. She sits in the ground with other girls laughing during P.E period while watching a cricket ball fly up in the sky. Then she bleeds. One day they celebrate her with all the sandal wood, silk sarees and bangles. “Oh you are a woman now”. “Isn’t it too early?” “Congrats you will get a grandson now” But the next month she is made to sit alone in one corner. “Don’t come to the kitchen” Don’t touch me” “Don’t go near God”. What should a woman do? Then comes college. “I gave you so much freedom to study till 12th! Isn’t that enough? See this is why girls shouldn’t be let out of their houses! Look at your daughter, Lakshmi! Go ask her to join one of those ‘loose’ women shouting about gender equality while sleeping with every man they see! You are going to bring shame to our family”. At night she watched her father intently listen to a man talking about a woman who once ruled the country, wore sleeveless blouses and was widowed. Her mother forgets to cover her head once, “Chee go cover yourself you shameless woman!”  What should a woman do? Fine I will let you study in the closest girls’ college. What do you want to study? Arts? Nursing? Music? Dance?  Anything you want you can study! What? You want to become architect? HAHAHA! You are going to become mason is it? Build pink houses to live with your husband? That course is so much work, lots of technical things. Not suitable for a woman. Oh well, then is anything suitable for a woman? Again begging and tears. She goes to a college to study architecture. The day her father couldn’t drop her came the catcalling. “Hey beautiful” “Which college?” “Vaadi vaadi naatukattai vasama vanthu maatikittai”. In college it is worse. The professors old enough to be her father suddenly want to have deep conversations with her about the subject, obviously. “You should come to my office I will help you with your project”. She begins her online life like any other student. Random text messages, threats, coaxing and inappropriate pictures. A guy in her street loves her deeply. So he claims. He writes her name in blood for her, waits for her down the street and suffocates her with his presence everywhere. If she says no to him she will get acid thrown on her face, if she says yes to him she is likely to be raped in a shady mansion in the pretext of ‘talking’. What should a woman do? During all this, her mother has already started. “You know Kamalam’s son is older than you and is a doctor. What do you think?” “Why did you have to study such a big degree? Now no one wants to marry you” “No not that guy he is shorter than her” “No not him he is younger than her”. What should a woman do? She finishes her degree and wants to work. “Enough of this! What will people think when they learn that I am running this house with my daughter’s money? Thu! They will spit on me. Never!”. But his pride doesn’t stop the taunts “I spent all my savings on your education and I get nothing in return. What use is your degree?”. What should a woman do? Her father reluctantly allows her to go to work. Her boss is full of suggestions for her “You should smile more” “Red suits you” “Why don’t you wear a saree, flowers and bindhi? So plain you look! Only you people should carry on our culture”. You don’t need to meet clients, let the men do that. They don’t like to talk to women about business. You don’t need to come for night shifts, let the men do that. Business travels are not for women. Not safe ma, you are like my daughter. You should be careful.  And in the end, promotion and increment are also for men. What should a woman do? Her parents doll her up and get her married to a man eight years her senior, taller than her and with three degrees. And then the cycle repeats itself.